Sofia Coppola’s “Somewhere”, award-winning albeit, isn’t a movie I’ll re-watch, ever. The lead character, Johnny, is likeable but with all the resources at his disposal, could he not have shaken off the social isolation? Seemed too cliche a tale about the rich and famous.
Anyway, the movie put me in a mood for crumpets (I thought it was crumpets). Johnny’s 11-year-old daughter, Cleo, not only figure-skates, cracks Sudoku codes, swims like fiend, dresses like a princess, but she is also deft in the kitchen. There’s a scene of her preparing Eggs Benedict for her father and pal. Unlike cooking shows, there were no commentaries; no Nigella-esque peddling of rich colours and heady scents. Just Cleo scooping up the poached eggs, drizzling Hollandaise sauce over the blobs and snipping chives over them. That did it. I must have crumpets (I thought it was crumpets) and eggs.
Soon enough, it became clear that maybe it’s English Muffins I was hankering for. Wiki said they are both made from flour and yeast. Recipes on the web shows similar ingredients for both, some adding baking soda to crumpet. Are crumpets and English Muffins simply identical twins separated at birth? The key difference seems to be you would split and toast an English Muffin. Then Delia clears it up – the E.Muffin is made from a dough; crumpet is made from a batter. Neither is indigenous to Poland. Lately, Marks&Spencer have added them to their shelves here.
The crumpet batter is easy enough to fix up with fresh yeast. The frying is the tricky bit. Oil the rings well; this is not a weigh-watching moment. If you’re using cookie cutters instead of proper crumpet rings, chopstick skills will come in handy when removing the scorching rings from the pan. It’s all very fiddly. Next time, I’ll try baking them in muffin trays in the oven.